Formal Letter: Self Introduction

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Subject: Self-introduction letter

Dear Prof Brad Blackstone,

I want to take this opportunity to introduce myself and hope it allows you to know me better at the end of it. My name is Muhd Raizan and I am 24 years old this year. I’m currently studying mechanical engineering at the Singapore Institute of Technology (SIT) as a Year 1 student who attended your critical thinking and communication class.

Before getting accepted into SIT, I had a diploma in automation and mechatronics systems at Ngee Ann Polytechnic. My interest in mechanical engineering developed when I returned from a school trip to Japan. We went to various company sites for a visit. During the visit, they showed us different machines used in the engineering field. I was fascinated and intrigued by how the devices operate. I thought it would be great to be part of machine development in the future.

Starting a conversation with individuals is one strength I believe I have instilled in me. During my tenure in national service, I was a sergeant in the Singapore Armed Forces. I had to converse with new faces and work together hand in hand to ensure work could be completed. However, I find it challenging to deliver my thoughts and intentions as I tend to overthink how one would react to my ideas. People would often get confused and unable to understand the message I wanted to relay.

Through the critical thinking and communication module, I would like to improve my writing and presentation skills. In terms of my writing skills, I need to refine my grammar and organize my ideas properly. It will enable me to establish a foundation for my future reports. Secondly, it would be my presentation skills. I would like to confidently engage with the audience as I often stumble upon my words and lose confidence when unable to draw the audience's attention.

Lastly, I am grateful to have had the chance to be on a football team since young. Through football, I have learned to be disciplined and resilient. Those two values have groomed me into the person I am today.

Thank you for taking the time to read my letter. I hope you get to know and have a little understanding of me through the letter.

Best regards,

Muhd Raizan

Comments

  1. Muhammad RidhwanSeptember 8, 2022 at 8:38 PM

    Hello Raizan, after reading the letter, I noticed there are a lot of grammatical errors written in this letter. For example, ".... I tend overthink on how one would react to my ideas." The correct sentence would be "... I tend to overthink on how one would react to my ideas." Another example would be " Those are the two values have shaped me to the person I am today. " The correct sentence would be " Those are the two values that have shaped me into the person I am today."

    ReplyDelete
  2. Aleeya JasminSeptember 11, 2022 at 7:43 AM

    Hello, I'm aleeya. I've read your letter and I realised that there were a few sentence structure error as well. In para 4, "Secondly presentation skills, I would like to engage..." I think you can structure it properly by saying, " Secondly would be my presentation skills. I would like to engage..." instead. Breaking up your sentences and linking them properly would allow you to make lesser sentence structure error. Another one would be in para 5, "Lastly, I am grateful to be given allowed to be on a football team since young.", you can write it as "Lastly, I am grateful to have the chance to be on a football team since young." instead. Overall, it was a nice letter to read and you'll surely improve once you write more!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Muhammad Raizan Bin Ronilizan 2837422BSeptember 15, 2022 at 1:45 AM

    Hi aleeya! Thank you for the feedback and i'll make changes to my letter.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Muhammad Raizan Bin Ronilizan 2837422BSeptember 15, 2022 at 1:45 AM

    Revised on 15/9/2022

    ReplyDelete
  5. Brad BlackstoneSeptember 16, 2022 at 8:43 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Brad BlackstoneSeptember 16, 2022 at 9:24 PM

    Dear Raizan,

    Thank you for this clear, concise and yet fairly detailed letter and the personal sharing. I appreciate that your content is well aligned with the assignment brief, the organization is neat and you have nearly flawless language use. You've done a fine job providing supporting information for each specific content area, allowing us readers to gain a clear understanding of who you are. I particularly like learning about your trip to Japan but I would have enjoyed knowing which cities you were in and what companies you visited.

    As for your communication weakness, you can be confident that we will do lots of activities to help you address both speaking and writing (as you have already seen). On that note, there are a few minor language issues to pay attention to in this letter:
    1. Verb tense
    -- ...as a Year 1 student who attended your critical thinking.... > ?
    -- My interest in mechanical engineering developed when I returned from a school trip to Japan. >
    (tense and phrasing issue) My interest in mechanical engineering developed when I was participating in a school trip to Japan.
    2. Phrasing/use of words
    -- I need to refine my grammar and organize my ideas properly. It will enable me ... > Doing so will enable me...

    I look forward to working with you further this term.

    Cheers,

    Brad

    ReplyDelete
  7. Muhammad Raizan Bin Ronilizan 2837422BNovember 25, 2022 at 1:52 PM

    Dear Prof Brad,

    Thank you for your feedback.

    Best Regards,
    Muhd Raizan

    ReplyDelete

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